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In the late 80's I was listening to a lot of Nightengale Conant success tape series, trying vainly to buck myself up as an achiever, and in one of them I learned that liars and politicians—sorry for the redundancy—signal their lies with words like "frankly," "in my opinion," "honestly," and such.

Anytime someone uses a phrase like that, they're signaling to you that they themselves don't believe what they're about to tell you. Isn't that neat? So I had fun with the concept in writing "True," way back around that time in the late 80s.

It's the story of a well-to-do womanizer trying to pull the wool over the eyes of his suspicious lady love, and failing miserably in the end. The line about "Who are you going to believe: me, or your own eyes?" was copped from Groucho, I think.

This song may demonstrate how the dark side of loner tendencies manifest themselves as extreme narcissism. Or perhaps the loner in this song has isolated himself with dishonesty?

Anyhow, it's a funny song. A bit sad underneath. It's awful to be lied to. It's also awful to be a liar. As we all likely know. Pathological lying was really cool at the time I wrote this song, however, thanks to Jon Lovitz.

lyrics

"True"
(vonHummer)
Frankly speaking, in many ways,
in my opinion, I'd have to say you know I do love you,
Look deep into my shifting eyes
as off the record I realize my love is true for you, it's true,
How lucky you are in a world full of liars and cheats
to have someone like me!
How lucky you are, and though you may think me
brutally honest, this is how I must be it's true, it's true...
All this nonsense about affairs is vicious hearsay
aimed at the man who says he cares for you,
Now my attorney will tell you you've a man who's faithful,
no one can prove I've strayed in fact from you, it's true,
How lucky you are in a world full of liars and cheats
to have someone like me!
How lucky you are, and though you may think me
brutally honest, this is how I must be it's true, it's true...
Who are you gonna believe: me, or your own eyes?
Who are you gonna believe: me or your own eyes
to tell you what's true? So true! How lucky you are it's true!
Now you must trust me, Ah, can't you see?
She's your best friend and she would not be
caught in bed by you with me,
Then I'll admit it, Ah, let me see,
I was drunk and stoned I don't remember and probably
it was not me caught red-handed by you,
How lucky you are in a world full of liars and cheats
to have someone like me!
How lucky you are, and though you may think me
brutally honest, this is how I must be it's true, it's true...

credits

from Indiscreet Where You Live, released February 25, 2006
vonHummer: bass, vocals

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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