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Time to Discover

from Leftoverwhelming by vonHummer

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"Time to Discover" kinda sorta wrote itself, some of it fiction, some my own experience. My mother was not in the Army nor stationed at Fort Dix, though she did wipe my face with the used Kleenexes kept rolled up in her sleeves. I was in the Boy Scouts and Little League ("the boys who circle circular men") and did lots of church growing up ("the men who manufacture hate") and I did have a mini-bike that I took to the top of Suicide Hill when I was 12 or maybe 13. But no one has ever told me I was a mediocre lover, thankfully.

At one point in Spring of 2000, I wrote a multipage treatise to Ann Hammer as to why "Time to Discover" was a great song and not a boring one. I went line by line defending the literary merits of this song. If I could find that email, I'd print it right here for laughs. I don't remember quite what I said but I remember her response to it. One word. "Ugh."

There's a story. A young boy from a divorce-torn family takes a Greyhound to where his mother is stationed to see her. She tells him that over time she's found that she herself doesn't have what it takes to stay in a relationship, probably in answer to "Why did you leave?" But because she says, "what a mediocre lover you are," instead of, "what a mediocre lover one is," or "I am," the boy feels she's telling him something about a his own as yet unrecognized defect.

The seed of self-hate is sown in him, and as he grows older, participating in youth programs, sports, church, Boy Scouts and such, he continues to take their well-meaning pronouncements as indictments of his worth and ability. Finally at twelve or so, he finds himself at the dangerously steep hill every kid knows about, contemplating riding down it on his mini-bike, perhaps to test his mettle—now almost matter-of-factly accepted as faulty and mediocre.

"I still have no clue as to what they mean," he says to himself, and, indeed we see that he truly didn't. But the damage to his psyche of the benign neglect he was raised with has been done. It takes a village to raise an idiot.

Also, this song is an expression of the odd mix of approval-seeking and ambition boys get socialized with, growing up. We're encouraged at first, and then, just when we think we've gotten really good we find out we're only mediocre: there's someone way better at whatever it is we've put our hands to, which we see in time. Alongside this is a corresponding mastery of transportation by ourselves: taking a bus, a taxi, subway train, or riding a mini-bike. A potent man doesn't stay where he is, he goes places. He goes a long way to be put in his place.

Bonus points for this being a bluesy kind of counting song, like "20 Flight Rock," or "Rock Around the Clock."

It has a beat I'm very fond of, what I think of as the Injun tom-tom beat. Also, I seem to remember the riff being a bit tricky for me to play, those first three notes. Especially to sing them at the same time. Mastering this song evolved me quite a bit as a player, I seem to recall. It was a very new thing for me to sing a line and then play a note response. If I could have heard this when I was fifteen and new to guitar playing, I would have considered myself a player of godlike ability.

lyrics

"Time to Discover"
(vonHummer)

I took a Greyhound when I was six
to see my mother stationed at Fort Dix,
She took a kleenex and wiped my face, she said,
"You come a long way to be put in your place,
"It takes time to discover, It takes time to discover,
It takes time to discover what a mediocre lover you are...
Lover you are..."
I took the Metro when I was eight
to see the men who manufacture hate,
They took my money, they took my name,
They told me, "Deep inside, we're all the same,
"It takes time to discover, It takes time to discover,
It takes time to discover what a mediocre lover you are...
Lover you are..."
I took a taxi when I was ten
to see the boys who circle circular men,
I got a rule book, a baseball hat,
They said, "You'll never do any better than that,*
I took my mini-bike to Suicide Hill,
(way back when, when I still had time to kill,)
I was twelve or maybe thirteen, I thought,
"I still have no clue as to what they mean:
"It takes time to discover, It takes time to discover,
It takes time to discover what a mediocre lover you are...
Lover you are..."

credits

from Leftoverwhelming, released July 31, 2002
vonHummer: vocals, bass drone, hi-guitar drone, drum guitar.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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