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The Invisible Ma'am

from Black & Orange by vonHummer

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about

"The Invisible Ma'am" was inspired by a post in Anne Strieber's blog. Being somewhere post-40 herself, she found that she'd become invisible to men and young women, even to the point of them running into her. And in Steve Martin's novel "Shop Girl," he has a line about a hot young thing that said something like, "...She doesn't know about '40,' where she'll have to actually know something to get men to listen to her."

My song portrays a really REALLY shallow hottie who gets older. Maybe a woman like the "Some Like It Hot" character Marilyn Monroe played. I've never met an actual woman like that, but I have faith that L.A. is stocked with them, so this one's for them, whoever they are.

I do feel a bit bad about women of substance AND beauty who get older and also become Invisible Ma'ams. (Like Anne Strieber?) Maybe they're happily in a relationship and don't mind too much. Or they're happy cougars? Just now, it occurs to me, this song is the flip of "Curse of the Mummy."

Wow, I'm good!

lyrics

"The Invisible Ma'am" [vonHummer]

You were the center of every room/ that you giggled /and wiggled/ and jiggled into,/ only natural to assume/ you’d always have it all,/ beck and call, /world by the balls…/

But 40 birthdays along or so,/ your mistake in that regard became apparent, /when your sexiness suddenly went /transparent/

Invisible Ma’am, /given no damn,/how are ya? Who are ya?Where are ya?, Invisible Ma’am,/They don’t kiss your hand/how are ya? Who are ya? Where are ya?/

See at the center of every room/young girls giggle/and wiggle/and jiggle like you/used to do when you were in bloom/they, too, can’t see you there,/unaware/of your bitter stare…/

40 or so birthdays have gone/—your milk and honey land has turned-mirage—/suddenly skin-deep beauty became/ camouflage/

Invisible Ma’am, /given no damn,/how are ya? Who are ya?Where are ya?, Invisible Ma’am,/They don’t kiss your hand/how are ya? Who are ya? Where are ya?/

Can you somehow seek substance? Make no deference? Refrain from vain nonsense? If you hope someday/ someone may see your way/hear what you say/It’s your only chance/back to visibility’s scam,/Invisible Ma’am…

Invisible Ma’am, /given no damn,/how are ya? Who are ya?Where are ya?, Invisible Ma’am,/They don’t kiss your hand/how are ya? Who are ya? Where are ya?

Invisible Ma’am,/wow them somehow now/if you can…/

credits

from Black & Orange, released October 6, 2010
Vocals: vonHummer
Bass: vonHummer
Drums: vonHummer

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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