That Which Does Not Smash

from That Which Does Not Smash by vonHummer

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Title cut. "That Which Does Not Smash" is a rather convoluted pre-emptive "I Told You So" song, predicting unhappiness in impending show biz success for the one being serenaded. There's a theme of "I wish you success but not really" in each verse, with a tepid offer standing to return if things don't work out. If I'm remembering rightly, I wrote this song to console myself for being nowhere with my music. I built up this nasty straw man to sing me a song of jealousy and tell me there would be no hope for and no value to my art if it didn't become a smash hit.

I think "That Which…" has been kicking around in one form or another since about 1988 or so. It's very Gordon Lightfoot to me.

lyrics

"That Which Does Not Smash" [vonHummer]

May your eyes flash/ like neon apostrophes/ May your teeth flash like knives/ May your voice blast/ like a siren for catastrophes/ when your moment arrives/
But if you find out/ that's not what you're about/ you can come back/ and I'll/ share my corned beef hash/
Though there is no hope for/ and nothing of value in/ that which does not smash…

May your hair wave/ like a flag/ in a hurricane/ May your song be white gold/ May your life be refined/ like a harvest of sugar cane/ May your cool not turn cold/
I'll be around/ if you tire/ of the fountains of youth/ or the mountains/ of soft, hot cash/
Though there is no hope for/ and nothing of value in/ that which does not smash…

Some live out a legend/ All the rest of us/ pass on like/ unfounded rumors/
Some rise up to master/ the beast/ with a billion eyes/ known/ as the great white consumer…

May a farm boy/ paste your face/ on his bedroom wall/ May you get the best seat/
May those/ of importance/ not screen your call/ May you sweat not the heat/
I'm still your friend/ even if you should end up/ face down/ in the backlot/ with yesterday's trash/
Though there is no hope for/ and nothing of value in/ that which does not smash…

credits

from That Which Does Not Smash, released October 21, 2001
vonHummer: EVERYTHING

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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