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Private Jokes

from Non Equidem Invideo by vonHummer

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"Private Jokes" I don't recall exactly what inspired this song, but I'm pretty sure it was some guest or other on Howard Stern who was boring me by making jokes that could only be understood by the guest's inner circle of friends. So that got me the chorus, and then the rather Elvis Costello like verses pretty much wrote themselves.

I remember being especially proud of the riff at the time, and you can hear it gives me difficultly here and there. It's certainly one of the only times I've ever just let the riff ring out by itself.

In the music video for "Private Jokes," I cut in b-roll from video Helvetica and I shot in New Orleans a few weeks or so before Mardis Gras 2002. There are parades and stuff, but most notably several girls who flashed their tits for beads from Bourbon Street balconies. Those young ladies are likely in their 30s now, and happily have no idea that their girlishness has been going wild on Portland and Seattle cable access for the last decade.

Hope one becomes First Lady someday.

lyrics

"Private Jokes" [vonHummer]

Sitting on a garbage heap, talking trash, Shouting while you’re counting sheep: mix and mash, what remains but for the stuttering swine to stick his head through the screen and stammer, “That’s All, folks?”

You can’t keep it to yourself now, can you man? You can’t keep it to yourself now, can you man? You can’t keep from going public with your private jokes!

Bite the hand that gropes the tit, tit for tat, Talk above the tried- and-true through your hat, what remains but for the Frito Bandito to blow the Pepcid Generation for a smile and a coax?

You can’t keep it to yourself now, can you man? You can’t keep it to yourself now, can you man? You can’t keep from going public with your private jokes!

The First Amendment wasn’t written in invisible ink, the Berlin Wall wasn’t merely mirrors and smoke, Aromatherapy wasn’t built in a day, and I stink of the common folk, you can’t think of the common folk who interrupt their scavenger hunt for meaning, scratching their collective skulls numb at your private jokes??

Can you man? You can’t keep it to yourself now, can you man? You can’t keep from going public with your private...
You can’t keep from going public with your private... You can’t keep from going public with your private jokes!

credits

from Non Equidem Invideo, released November 4, 2000
vonHummer: Bass and vocals.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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