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Never See You Again

from Ever So Transient by vonHummer

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"Never See You Again" is a very personal song of loss for me from the absolute lowest point of my life. 15 years on, I still don't want to talk about it. Took 12 years to be able to record it, and I only do so as a tribute to her.

I will say that some of us have to deal with a loss so big it's impossible to process in any way but "It's over and I'll never have to go through that again."

Back in the days when people carried thermoses, you could drop em and the glass vacuum inside would break and they'd be useless. They'd look fine on the outside, just the same as before, but inside: all busted up.
Some of us suffer loss like that, and if you have, I hope this song has meaning.

lyrics

"Never See You Again" [vonHummer]

I will never see you again, If you’re doing well, I don’t want to know, I can’t stand remembering how much of me is gone, Maybe they changed your name, maybe you’ll look me up someday and ask me to explain, but today it’s too much for me to take…

I will never see you again…I will never see you again…Shout it out silently to myself, over and over and over…

Til I can replace my face and hide the damages so no one will know, What good is remembering how crippled I am? What would you have me say? We never did speak with words anyway…There, now you’re out of my brain…

Yeah once upon a time, on an ugly sofa, every night for the first three months of your tortured life…I held you sleeping against my chest, and I loved you, I loved your every small breath…

Sometimes I prayed for your death, only human at best, Ill-prepared for a life under house arrest…*

credits

from Ever So Transient, released March 21, 2009
vonHummer: the whole thing

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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