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Jesus H. Christ

from 6​+​5​+​2 by vonHummer

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about

"Jesus H. Christ" held the hands-down position as most-downloaded vonHummer song until about 2004 when "Like Junior High" took the top honor for itself. It's a stretch to call this one a Christmas song at all, because, excepting for the name of the birthday boy himself, it's not. I was grasping, to fill tv time.

This song was written shortly after 9-11, that very gloomy, helpless time. Basically: how does one pray in times of need to what was previously, in the good times, an exclamation? In the lyrics' conflation with wishing on a star ["...I wish you may/I wish you might...") and praying, there's doubt and hope.

Beyond 9-11, that was a time my son was in elementary school and still horribly friendless. If you've ever had a kid with that problem—or been that kid—you know how sad a place it makes the world. And how helpless you can feel over it.

So this song is a kind of prayer for Jesus to do a water-to-wine thing again, changing us with cement spirits to kite spirits. In the end, there's a call to come back to Earth again an clarify the directions, as time and distance have scribbled the original message with graffiti to where it's illegible.

Simple arrangement here: the drone bass and the high drone guitar. Those click-clacks you hear are the "drum string" I had on the bass at that time. It was a paper clip that muted the unused E string, which I would hit as I strummed for a kind of percussion effect. I've tried on different guitars to recreate that effect—since selling that Ovation acoustic bass in 2004—but to no avail.

lyrics

"Jesus H. Christ"
(vonHummer)

Jesus H. Christ, may we all get a bit more sleep tonight, keep the world turning and let it all turn out all right, sail the cement-hearted high as a kite, ground the sky-sick satellites, I wish you may I wish you might…

Jesus H. Christ, let each lonely child find a friend, keep the sun rising and let this bitter darkness end, row the boat hearted safely round the bend, make the mangled mend, I pray you’re not just pretend…

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, it’s just about time, for you to come back and paint some new signs, I mean directional signs, but so much graffiti, so distant and faded, those old ones, it’s getting hard to pay them any mind...

credits

from 6​+​5​+​2, released April 16, 2002
Produced by Clark Kent for Therisno Records.
vonHummer: drum guitar and other percussion, bass drone, high guitar drone

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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