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House on the Median Strip

from Indiscreet Where You Live by vonHummer

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about

I consider "House on the Median Strip" on of my greatest songs, although I may be alone on that score.

At the time I wrote it, I was stuck in an awful marriage, and one of the things my ex used to beat me over the head with was that we didn't own a house. This was the 90s and real estate bubble was just a boom then and if you didn't own, well...you were a loser.

All of her friends owned houses, but as I looked around, it wasn't like they bought them by saving up. Most were "helped" by their parents with a huge down payment. Neither of our parents were willing to do that for us, and who can blame them? I was a mess. She was a mess, we was a mess.

We were living in suburban Washington, DC at the time and development was running wild. Driving home one night at rush hour speeds of 5 mph on the highway, I thought, "At this rate, they'll be developing townhouses on the little strip of grass between the interstate here...By the time I get money for a house, that'll be all that's left to buy..." And so the seeds of this song were deposited.

This song has a swell spooky lilt to it, kind of Peter Gabriel, perhaps, and some swell plays on words, and inventive faux real estate agent words to describe an impossible living space.

It's a fantasy of our culture of isolation and wealth taken too far, that makes loners even of the family unit. That is, in the middle of the highway, they're on their own.

lyrics

"House on the Median Strip"
(vonHummer)
Real estate agents said it was "compact but cute,"
With built in bunkbeds stand up living room and a moped garage to boot,
Somebody said build up equity then you can add a limb to your family tree,
If we both work and her parents co-sign, we can afford,
Bless this house, oh Lord,
House on the median strip,
House on the median strip,
Acres of papers to settle, examine and sign
til we could eat that first breakfast on our new sun deck, one a time,
Everyone said build up equity, then you can add a limb to your family tree,
Housewarming party guests: bring only gifts slim and tall,
So they can fit, that's all,
House on the median strip,
House on the median strip,
Don't, don't call them windows they're sun slits,
Got ladders, not stairs,
One bathroom like on a Greyhound, but not as spacious,
Nights: doppler shift diesels and high beams,
and days: flash-by faces,
Consider the lilies of the field,
four lanes of highway, not a care...
Princes own palaces, White Houses house presidents at our expense,
House on the median strip, better than nothing, beats paying rent,
We always said build up equity, now we can add a limb to our family tree,
Said to our son, "Son, someday all of this will be yours.
All three skinny floors,"
House on the median strip,
House on the median strip...

credits

from Indiscreet Where You Live, released February 25, 2006
vonHummer: bass, vocals

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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