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Do It to Them

from Pre​-​Season Scrimmage by vonHummer

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When I wrote "Do It to Them," I was likely thinking of Woody Allen's "Broadway Danny Rose," one of my favorites of his. At one point in the movie, his character is comparing personal philosophies with Mia Farrow's character. Danny Rose's quotes some Rabbi: "Love, honor, forgive..." She says something like, "Ya know what my philosophy is? 'Do it to them before they do it to you!'"

This song is my elaboration on that philosophy, I guess. A lot of people probably live by this credo, but never admit it. Seems rather grim, but it's at least very empowering. Perhaps that's why it's associated with gangsters. Certainly anyone in the clutches of Arrogance secretly relates to this song.

I wrote the lyrics back around 1996 maybe. The tune was new to 2002, and is a bit similar to "We Don't Mean It," on the album "Leftoverwhelming." I didn't mean to rip myself off, but I figured, "I'll do it to me, before I do it to me!"

lyrics

"Do It to Them"
(vonHummer)

Do it to them, before they do it to you, Figure out how to use your feet, lest they spring your ejector seat, it’s ship or iceberg: ask the Titanic’s crew, Do it to them, before they do it to you…

Do it to them, before they do it to you, Shake the moss off your rolling stone or the vultures surely circle your bones, don’t wait around for some fool to say, “Aprés Vous!”: Do it to them, before they do it to you,

You got to do it, do it, don’t need no good excuse, you got to do it, do it, whose neck is for the noose? You got to do it do it, whose chef will cook whose goose Thanksgiving Day? “Bon Appetit’s” so sweet to say…

Do it to them, before they do it to you, Before your government gets overthrown, launch a little coup de tat of your own, Let ‘em land the first punch after you’ve landed two: Do it to them, before they do it to you,

You got to do it, do it, don’t need no good excuse, you got to do it, do it, whose neck is for the noose? You got to do it do it, whose chef will cook whose goose Thanksgiving Day? “Bon Appetit’s” so sweet to say…

Hate to hear the angels sing “Who’s Sorry Now” for you, no need turning the other cheek if you’re the first one to bitch slap ‘em black and blue…

Do it to them, before they do it to you, If your conscience tears you up inside, then rest assured, my boy, you’ve done it right, Them that sleep with the fishes sleep no better, true? (True!) Do it to them, before they do it to you,

You got to do it, do it, don’t need no good excuse, you got to do it, do it, whose neck is for the noose? You got to do it do it, whose chef will cook whose goose Thanksgiving Day? “Bon Appetit’s” so sweet to say…

credits

from Pre​-​Season Scrimmage, released June 4, 2002
Produced by Clark Kent for Therisno Records

vonHummer: vocals, guitar drum and percussion, bass drone, high guitar drone.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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