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"Billionaire" was originally written as "Millionaire" back in the early 90s, but—like Dr. Evil—I found by 2002 that a million bucks wasn't terribly impressive anymore.

I've never been sure what makes this such a popular song with folks, as it's all based on a joke of a "How do you get to Carnegie Hall" level. "What does it take to be a billionaire?...At least a billion bucks."

Maybe it's the good-time celtic lilt? Kind of Simon-and-Garfunky.

lyrics

"Billionaire"
[vonHummer]
What does it take to be a billionaire? I could tell you, but it’s not very fair, What does it take to be a billionaire? It takes a brain and heart and guts, a pound of flesh, a pint of blood, and at least a billion bucks…

What does it take to be a billionaire? To sleep late weekdays like you hadn’t a care? What does it take to be a billionaire? It takes a beautiful body and soul, a soft fist, a firm handshake, and a billion in the hole…

It makes one want to cry to see so many people content to die after a life on Earth, Without a billion in cash, what was it all worth?

What does it take to be a billionaire? To have so much, you’re not hesitant to share? What does it take to be a billionaire? It takes saying “Please” and “Thanks”, good manners, compassion and grace, and a billion in yer banks…

It spoils one’s good clean fun to see so many people under the gun, only crumbs to be their piece of the pie, They don’t know what it takes and won’t ask why…

credits

from The Lobster Lies Down on Bourbon Street, released March 17, 2002
Bass drone, high guitar drone and vocals by vonHummer. Produced by Clark Kent for Therisno Records.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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