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Artistry

from Ever So Transient by vonHummer

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"Artistry" is kind of my Mission Statement, trying to make sense of my life and its purpose. At some point, I'd worked up a legal construct for the different levels of the offense of being an artist. I've determined that artistry (like murder) has three degrees with which one can be charged:

Artistry in the First Degree is when you're flat out nuts and you do your art to the exclusion of just about everything else. (see: VanGogh)

Artistry in the Second Degree is when you do your art to the exclusion of all else but you are not nuts. (Andy Warhol?)

Artistry in the Third Degree is when you do something else for a living, but you do art all the rest of the time.

The quality of your art does not matter in relation to these charges.

There's also an underlying ethic to this song, learned from Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way." It's the idea that God likes art. He must. He created so many different beautiful things. And if that's so, then God likes artists, and so, in his final judgement of my life, I'll expect that he'll like me, too, and let me off easy. Possibly with a warning.

lyrics

"Artistry" [vonHummer]

Peter Pan me, approaching fifty, what the fuck? On their way to pay their mortgages, I wish my peers good luck, and when the final dabs of cadmium blue have been squeezed from my crinkled tube, will I be called by my patron to account for all the sensible things I didn’t do? Will I? Will you?

You, you’ll be rewarded for the payments you made on time for a while, Me, hopefully, I’ll be busted for counterfeiting tears and fencing stolen smiles,

And when I stand before judge and jury and plead guilty, the charge will be: attempted artistry, attempted artistry in the third degree…

Can’t play nicely with prosperity, what the fuck? On my way to stay on someone else’s sofa, wish me lotsa luck, and when the stack of unmet responsibilities accrue enough to lift me up clear to heaven’s review, will I be panned by my critic for all the financial planning I didn’t do? Will I? Will you?

You, you’ll get five stars for RV’s and boats and trucks and cars, and me, probably, I’ll get two thumbs down for purple hazing, gazing at navels and stars,

And when I stand before judge and jury and plead guilty, the charge will be: attempted artistry, attempted artistry in the third degree…

But neither blue ribbons nor honorable mention will make any difference to me and my selfish intention to express myself as I see fit, helplessly.

credits

from Ever So Transient, released March 21, 2009
vonHummer: put it all on my tab.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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