"Don't Underestimate Me" [vonHummer] Don't think that all you've seen is all I've been, Don't take a cursory glance at the song and dance I'm paid to do and think it's all I'm able to...Oh ho ho don't consider me hastily, Oh oh oh oh, don't underestimate me, Don't underestimate me, Don't underestimate me, I'm here to see the delight in your eyes...And maybe I'm the guy who figures how to pry some window into the mansion, the fancy mansion you keep inside: rich and unoccupied...

"You and You and You" [vonHummer] Can't take a single step more until I spew forth all the hatred and garbage tying me to you and you and you and you...And if I could cry one more time, what good would it do? Rather leave you all frozen behind me, pass on through you and you and you...20 experts saying night is day doesn't make it true, I'm an old dog now, but I got a trick that's new, and me, I'm gonna float high into blue skies, toodle-oo! Stripping off all illusion of power I gave to you and you and you and you...So take a look at your Titanic's log, I'm not on the crew anymore, so bon voyage! Godspeed! Miss me, too, you and you and you?

"Each and Every Woman" [vonHummer] I've gone all the way with Marilyn McCoo/Jeane Kirkpatrick and Kathy Lee, too/I've gone all the way with Jessica Hahn,/My list of lovers just goes on and on/Nancy Reagan acted like a teenage girl/I been with each and every woman in the western world...in the western world/ I've gone all the way with Billie Jean King/Me and Heather Locklear had a serious thing/I've gone all the way with Cher and Madonna/I did Yoko Ono and I didn't wanna/Shirley Temple Black said I should call her "Shirl," I been with each and every woman in the western world...in the western world/ I don't mean to take away from what they achieve/but they gave me sex like you wouldn't believe/I wasn't trying hard to feather my cap/seems like every time was just a crazy mishap/ I've gone all the way with Goldie Hawn/I left Oprah Winfrey throbbin' on her front lawn/I've done Debra Winger and Andie MacDowell/I taught Barbra Streisand what it means to howl/I gave Whoopi Goldberg my necklace of pearl/I been with each and every woman in the western world...in the western world/ I was with your wife before your marriage improved/I been with your second cousin twice removed/I been with your sister and the girl next door/Guess I just got something that they all can't ignore/ I've gone all the way with Doctor Ruth/She can tell you truly that I'm telling the truth/Though their vows of silence never will be betrayed/I've had every Brady girl and Alice the maid/Urban, suburban, metropolitan, rural,/I been with each and every woman in the western world...

"Act III." [vonHummer] F. Scott says I got no second act coming to me, Oh dear, then I better shift gears: screw the script we'll skip to Act III....Offhand, offstage, off-book: hats off to me, Audience ankled already? Well let me see if I can kill a few lights til the mood is right, To be or not to be: extemporizing, mesmerizing? Music, maestro, please... Standing room only, every seat's been sold to emptiness, Cast and crew down to me and to you: let's make the best of this awkward blocking, this too-loud talking, this script that's actorproof, the mask that moans, and the mask that goofs...

"Samantha Someone" [vonHummer] When I walk by your cubicle, I just think, "God, you're beautiful," and I can't help wondering, "Does that wedding ring still mean anything to you?" On your desk I see pictures of you and him, What's his name, Matthew, Dave, or Jim? Are you over him now and the sacred cow of a twenty-to-life wedding vow? You're someone, Samantha, someone special indeed, Someone no one should take for granted or feel they have to "complete," Come on out from under the love gun, Samantha, someone would love to like you...You don't want to hurt anybody, no matter how much it hurts you, Love your life, girl, and don't live off love, Love's not the main course, of course, it's just the dessert.

"The Brothers Mad" [vonHummer] Aint no damn good asking permission when acquisition, under some conditions, can't be had, but you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad, you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad...Aint no damn use seeking perdition, when the main mission is "Heal thyself, physician," just be glad, but you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad, you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad...You can't tell that to the brothers, the Brothers Mad...The Brothers Mad...You say we're insane like it's bad, but we prefer to stress our foxiness, and, yes, my dears, our contract's iron clad, so call us like you see us: the Brothers Mad...Aint no damn time to have a vision when raw ambition underwhelms sedition like some fad, but you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad, you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad...Aint no damn way to fight attrition when suspicion kills competition: dead men don't wear plaid, but you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad, you can't tell that to the Brothers Mad...