Sieve & Moor

by vonHummer

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about

In my mind, where I do most of my thinking, "Sieve & Moor" is one half of a double album, where "Abbey Damned" is the other half. (Ringo said the same thing about "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul," which is irrelevant, really.)

Both albums were mixed and had vocals recorded at Portland's legendarily hip studio, Jackpot Recording, by Larry Crane. Both albums used the same instrumentations: my Danelectro Longhorn bass drone, the Eko high drone guitar, and regular bass and drums programmed on the little blue Zoom 123 drum machine. On both albums, "Sieve & Moor" and "Abbey Damned," I was experimenting with super-imposing slow tempo drum tracks over fast songs. And lastly, these albums were recorded only six months apart or so, so to my mind, these are the same album.

But actually, "Sieve & Moor" had by far more downloaded mp3's than "Abbey Damned," with songs like "Doomed," "Kinda Sorta," "Theories," "Heidi the Hottie," and "Newgate Hornpipe." So, although this album was released only song-by-song on "The vonHummer Hour," and so, my fans wouldn't know it at the time, "Sieve & Moor" was a fan favorite, a biggie.

My memory is really foggy on when exactly I started recording on this batch of 7 songs. Probably March of 2003, and I was driven, once again, by need of more songs for the music video on my then bi-weekly, cable access series. At a clip of 3 to 4 songs per episode, you run out of material fast. All 7 songs were written within the last year or less, with the exception of "Chasing Tail," and "Theories," the lyrics for which were leftover from about 1990.

Soundwise, it's a horribly bass-heavy work. In a world where bass is felt more than heard, this album will make you reach for the EQ to save your speakers. Ah, if only one of those boom cars would play "Sieve & Moor:" they'd self-destruct. But I am tremendously proud of this album. It was a successful departure from the sound I'd crafted previously and discovering that new sound was great fun, I seem to recall.

It wasn't intentional—I was just trying to pick some good songs for the show—but there's a definite Is-Love-What-It-Seems kind of theme running through these seven songs. Given the relationship I was in at the time, that may have been an unconscious concern, although at the time I counted myself quite happy in love.

What else? At that time, I was being rather flippant with album titles. I tend to record in small bunches here and there. Three here. Six there. And in my mind—again, where most of my thinking is done—I'd be calling the project "Three more," "Six more," or in this case "Seven More." Cute, huh?

The cover photo, from the same session, along with the design, is meant to complement the cover of "Abbey Damned." Both pics came from the same session with Jason Kaplan, and probably the same fisheye lens.

credits

released May 14, 2003

Produced by Clark Kent for Therisno Records. Vocals recorded at Jackpot Recording Studio, Portland, OR. mixed by Larry Crane. Bass drone, high drone guitar, vocals, and bass and drum programming by vonHummer. Songs by vonHummer. Cover photo by Jason Kaplan.

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vonHummer Portland, Oregon

vonHummer is a Portland music/cable access legend whose career spanned from Fall of 2001 to Fall of 2011, during which he recorded a hundred or so songs for use in his absurdist show (and feature film) and played only a handful of concerts. Currently retired, his work shines on for the ages. Or will he someday return...? ... more

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Track Name: Theories
"Theories"
(vonHummer)
Like the first Joe to stub his toe pondering Stonehenge, I don’t know what Love’s monoliths bestow, I’ve got theories, o-ho, but I’ll never know…

Like the first crew, compass askew, drifting in the Triangle without a clue what Love’s latitude can do, I’ve got theories, it’s true, but never a clue…

Theory is a thing we use like a curtain to hide the truth: we know nothing for certain, Here you see my 3-D visual model of how simple life oughtta’ be ‘til Love shakes theory with reality…

Like the first white explorer to sight in the Himalayan morning light Love’s abominable footprints, they chill me in spite of warm theories held tight, quite right, they chill me in spite…

Theory is a thing we use like a curtain to hide the truth: we know nothing for certain, Here you see my 3-D visual model of how simple life oughtta’ be ‘til Love shakes theory with reality…

Like the first guy to pop his eyes at some UFO filling the sky: frozen by a power beyond the ken of theoretical men, waiting for Love to abduct me again...
Track Name: Newgate Hornpipe
"Newgate Hornpipe"
(vonHummer)

I suppose I’ve become accustomed to spending the Prom haunting this hall with my shiftless and ignorant stomp,

Has Destiny’s Fiddler called a new tune for me now? Suddenly changing partners: strangers, we curtsy and bow, and I follow my feet dancing the Newgate Hornpipe…

Promenade into mystery with the Angels of Change, circle left, Do-si-do with disaster (pretty little thing I know best),

Yes, Destiny’s Fiddler has called a new tune for me now, it’s a jig in the gibbet and the neckties are partying down, finally facing the music, dancing the Newgate Hornpipe…

You can dance with who brung ya, or glower and flower the wall, but we’ll all hang together and hang separately after all,

While Destiny’s Fiddle calls a new tune every time, and we can’t sit this one out, only wait for a waltz to unwind, blue suede shoes getting scuffed dancing the Newgate Hornpipe...
Track Name: Doomed
"Doomed"
(vonHummer)

Call me "Mr. Sunshine," kill the fatty calf, Can't complain cos look at all I have, Sure I'm Mr. Sunshine, write that down for me, but the fact of the matter is it's all gonna scatter like the leaves from an autumn tree,

Now you're talking like you're throw it all away? All things work out rightly, Stay and play,
No I'm saying that it's all gonna fall away, cos the timer is runnin' and the detonator's hummin' and it's only logical to say,

Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, So unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out this unscathed, Dude I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out of this unscathed, Mythological security, Look below: not a net to see, Suit yourself but it's clear to me that presently I'll be doomed...

Sure do like the sunshine, Sure do like the park, Hate to have to sleep here after dark, What's the worst could happen, should I lose it all? All the friends and detractors and the complicated factors puppeteering the rise and fall?

Are you saying that you're gonna throw it all away? All things work out rightly, Stay and play,
No I'm saying that I haven't got the stuff to stay, cos the tightrope is oiled and the rattlesnake is coiled and it's only sensible to say,

Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, So unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out this unscathed, Dude I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out of this unscathed, Mythological security, Look below: not a net to see, Suit yourself but it's clear to me that presently I'll be doomed...

Hold on, Mr. Sunshine, Keep your shit intact, We're all counting on you, that's a fact, Sure you're on a tightrope; life and limb get lost, but we'd like to remind you that we're right here behind you and we've all got our fingers crossed,

Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, So unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out this unscathed, Dude I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely, Dude, I'm doomed, so unlikely to get out of this unscathed, Mythological security, Look below: not a net to see, Suit yourself but it's clear to me that presently I'll be doomed...
Track Name: Chasing Tail
"Chasing Tail"
(vonHummer)

To Autumn sun, to wily quail, to rod and gun to chasin’ tail…

Correct me, gents, if I aint squarely hittin’ the nail: every facet of our livelihoods is just a pretext for chasin’ tail,

To politics to Holy Grail, can’t beyond it: chasin’ tail…

Forgive us, ladies, we’re all snakes of invisible scale, maybe we may be behavin’ for now, but we’d rather be chasin’ tail,

To kingdom come, to blazing trail, can’t rise above it: chasin’ tail…

DNA cannot explain it all away, T&A, sells survival by display, DNA, I am a sucker for it every day, T&A is surely leading me astray…

Give me strength, Lord, that my humanity may prevail, grant me beauty to cover my beast: keep me successfully chasin’ tail…

Thru war and peace, thru sleet and hail, nothing shall stop us chasin’ tail….
Track Name: Kinda Sorta
"Kinda Sorta"
(vonHummer)

And so man’s frenzied search for answers has led us here...

Did the universe start with a boom? Kinda sorta…Is our planet gonna run outta room? Kinda sorta…Am I bothered by your heavy perfume? Kinda sorta…

Does what comes ‘round go ‘round? Has all hope been lost or found? Do you like the Nashville Sound? Kinda sorta…

Are you seeking spiritual perfection? Kinda sorta…Are you out for bloody insurrection? Kinda sorta…Is the mall much further in this direction? Kinda sorta…

Do you still possess your virginity? Is your love for sale or free? Did you steal that twenty from me? Kinda sorta…

I kinda sorta sorta kinda kinda say “kinda sorta…”
I kinda sorta sorta kinda kinda say “kinda sorta…”

Kinda sorta means “Yes, and I’m sorry it’s so,” Kinda sorta means “It’s possible, but odds are low,” Kinda sorta sorta kinda means I just don’t know if I just don’t know…

And so man’s frenzied search for answers has led us here: where a six pack of one, half twelve pack another’s still beer, my dear…Where every empty gesture collapses into healthy shrug…Where I seek an old drugstore when I want a new drug…

Is the idea as real as the thing? Kinda sorta…Do you know why the caged bird sings? Kinda sorta…After work can I give you a ring? Kinda sorta…

Are you 42 or still in your teens? Do the ends justify the means? Son, you gonna buy that magazine? Kinda sorta…

I kinda sorta sorta kinda kinda say “kinda sorta…”
I kinda sorta sorta kinda kinda say “kinda sorta…”
Track Name: Heidi the Hottie
"Heidi the Hottie"
(vonHummer)

What have you heard about Heidi the Hottie? Blond as a nazi with Wonder Woman’s body, livin’ larger off her looks and love, yeah you seen that girl we been speaking of...

She had a sugar dad name of Matthew or Steve, he had a charm and income almost too good to believe, he drove an SUV and a couple of Saabs, so Heidi worked hard all day on her buns and her abs...

What have you heard about Heidi the Hottie? Blond as a nazi with Wonder Woman’s body, shoppin’, boppin’ with his cards of gold, leavin’ tips so large, and looks so cold...

But then the market fell and they downsized her man, she tried to get her a job selling timeshare plans, now there’s a foreclosed sign on the mansion petit, where they walked so soft never touching the street…

What have you heard about Heidi the Hottie? Blond as a nazi with Wonder Woman’s body, someone saw her in a coffee shop wiping counters down, maybe movin’ a mop…

Someone saw her swingin on a pole in a smoke-filled club somewhere so I been told…

Livin’ largely off her looks and love, yeah you know that girl we been speakin’ of...
Track Name: Apres Vous
"Apres Vous"
(vonHummer)

I’ve got nothing to hide; neither do you, so it’s time to share what we each know or possibly knew, I’m more than willing to lay all my cards on the table like the trustworthy do, be forever true, on one condition: apres vous.

I’ve got my temper flared; so do you, white knuckles crushing each other’s windpipes, no air: what we will do? I’m more than willing to back off, loosen my death grip, count to ten, sit and talk this through, on one condition: apres vous.

Apres vous, mon petit chou-chou! Apres vous is an avenue leading down the primrose path, fear not, I’ll be right behind you, as the Senate said to Caesar, (prior to “Et tu…”): “Apres vous…”

We’re both a part of the System bleeding humanity blue, but apart from losing some sleep, we’ve done all right, me and you, I’m more than willing to let go the profits and power to share my share with the cleaning crew, so what’s the hold up: Apres vous?

Apres vous, mon petit chou-chou! Apres vous is an avenue leading down the primrose path, fear not, I’ll be right behind you, as the Senate said to Caesar, (prior to “Et tu…”): “Apres vous…”