"Playground" [vonHummer] Wake up/ Come out to play/ it's Saturday/ and you can't have this kind of fun/ in bed… See-saw, marjorie daw, we go back and forth, but don’t worry: I won’t get off while your legs are kicking in the air, We come here to play, we don’t play here to come, just clean dirty fun, chase each other some, *There’s slides and swings and monkey bars, places to rest when we go too hard, or get dizzy staying too long on the merry-go-round, there’s hair to mess and dresses to ruin, and screams and teams and nothin’ doin’ but getting’ busy all day at the playground... You’re it, aw don’t quit, I’ll let you catch me, don’t worry I won’t tell a soul the bad words your screamed out here, let’s roll in your grass, let’s climb up my tree, dig your heels in hard, pump furiously,* Wake up and come out to play, it’s Saturday, and you can’t have this kind of fun in bed...We’ll teeter-totter as the sun gets hotter, we’ll get all sweaty and watch each other’s faces go red* There’s piggybacks and games on all fours, and make believe on the rocking horse, there’s hidey holes and poles for sliding up and down, we’ll be hungry as wolves by tonight, sleep like babies tucked in tight, and tomorrow first light, we’re gonna run right back to the playground

"New" (vonHummer) New shoes getting old, new news getting old, new views getting old, yeah, older all the time, New rich getting old, new bridge getting old, new bitch getting old, yeah, older all the time, Stand still a minute let me take you in and pass you along, here we go, here we go: drunken down the road headlong, Stand still a minute as your minute’s been made, bought, and sold, yes indeed: life is sweet, but only til the moment that the new becomes old... New toys getting old, new noise getting old, new joys getting old, yeah, older all the time, New Deal getting old, new feel getting old, new wheels getting old, yeah, older all the time, Stand still a minute, tell me where I’ve seen your face once before, here we go, here we go: friends forevermore, Stand still a minute, my mistake: you’re a stranger, I’m told, I declare, everywhere I look to see the new I see something old... New wife getting old, new drive getting old, new life getting old, yeah, older all the time, New York getting old, new work getting old, young jerk getting old, yeah, older all the time Stand still a minute there’s a breeze freeze-drying my tears, blasting off, blasting off the phantom friends passing here, Stand still a minute as I ask you coming in from the cold: What’s new? Dust a few cobwebs off yourself and set your new on the old...

Go ahead and ask me how I’m doing, I don’t mind the question: I’m so in love, Go ahead, ask me how I’m doing, without too much reviewing I’ll tell you I’m doing Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, one tenth uncertainty left by design... Go ahead, say what you’re afraid of, nobody’s perfect, but perfect is love, go ahead, say what you’re afraid of, I know what you’re made of, I see in your eyes that you’re Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, one tenth away from an angel divine... You’re not mine, I’m not yours, but we bring each other delight. I’ve found what I’m looking for: look you at you, look at me, look at us here tonight, we’re so Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, Ninety-nine and nine tenths fine, one tenth away from losing our minds.

"Geologic Repository Trilogy" [vonHummer] Not long after mankind’s face had settled down to the nuclear race, we cast our eyes on the land contemplating space: a space to place the waste, a space to place the waste, a place for the waste to go, oh...to chill out for ten thousand years or so... Scientific heads were scratched, funds were raised and wits were matched, we cast our eyes on the land searching for a patch: a patch to catch the rads, a patch to catch the rads, a patch for the rads to go, oh...to chill out for ten thousand years or so... Deaf Smith County, Texas was no damn good due to their water table, and Hanford, Washington, they did what they could, but were politically unable, but valhalla for the wretched and the weary finally was found in the great wasted state of Nevada’s most god forsaken ground... Yucca, Yucca Mountain, Yucca Mountain, we’re gonna put it to the test, Yucca, Yucca Mountain, Yucca Mountain, does this desert rest in peace? Yucca Mountain, by the grace of God, we’ll get the rods out of our own backyards at least, We’ve found the sod for the rods to rest below to chill out for ten thousand years or so... So get off your high horses people, and get in the hole, We’re boring down three hundred feet, sweating bullets in the devilish heat, We’re storing armageddon’s empties just a couple steps higher than hell, We’re going in thru busted butte as soon as DOE gets the loot, and the usual suspects get a cut as well... So move your machines gently, people, thru the heavy rock which used to be volcanic ash, dirty work by the fluorescent flash, We’re standing up and staring down the danger where we shop and dwell, so show pride in each emplacement drift, it’s our subterranean gift to our grandchildren’s grandkids, as time will tell... After all, what will be left behind after the megamall has faded away and the prodigal sun which tans the hide of vegas is an ancient one, and the bones of the last blonde showgirl have fossilized someday? Who’ll be left to tell the story of the put-in-on-layaway glory of the geologic repository? Yucca, Yucca Mountain, Yucca Mountain, who will survive to see history’s deepest latrine? Yucca, Yucca Mountain, Yucca Mountain, carved permanently between the Ghost Dance and Solitario lines of fault, just a couple steps higher than hades, recalling the gents and the ladies whose lust for power filled this mighty vault? Wasn’t pretty, but the waste found a place to go to chill out for ten thousand years or so...

"One Thousand Gateways" [vonHummer] Black marble pillars, Ionic/ Covered with signs/ and lights electronic/ signified clearly the doorway to Heaven/ "In There,"/ I passed through a.../ down a hallway of trophies/ which led elsewhere… White marble pillars, Corinthian/ with three-piece-suited leviathans/ trimming our resumes for some/ Saint Peter's inspection/ It led to a throne room/ where a porcelain portal read/ "Sealed for your protection"… One thousand gateways/ surrounding Heaven/ All but one lead straight to despair/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go nowhere… Might take an afterlifetime/ of Sunday mornings/ Several self-help books/ and Surgeons General warnings/ Might take a compass/ and a crap detector/ Some fallen angels and a mole/ or at least a defector/ from the city of eternal bliss… Plain wooden door marked "Cleaning Supplies"/ About to check it when/ as if hypnotized/ I followed a buxom showgirl/ into Heaven's Pass/ and watched her dance in vain/ dazzle by the strobe lights/ and suckered by sleeping gas… One thousand gateways/ surrounding Heaven/ All but one lead straight to despair/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go/ Nine hundred and ninety nine go nowhere…

"You Have Changed My Face" [vonHummer] Like a shaft of sunlight thru the sewer grates, I feel a shift in Reality’s underlying tectonic plates, what will be, will be, and I see what used to be a terrorist state has been overthrown by a state of grace, and I see: you have changed my face... Like South Carolina when the tourists return, I feel my Grand Strand’s rich with Canadians who “tan...don’t burn,” What’s the use, no use feeling useless, what’s a rat to do without cats, spring-loaded traps, or a maze to race? Let it be: you have changed my face... Mirror, mirror, over the sink has got a new view for me, I think, we got together now I got to slow down my shaving pace, cause my razor don’t know where to go: you have changed my face...

"No Help" [vonHummer] Why why why why WHY won’t you help me? You’re no help at all. Why do you sneak out the back every time I call? Give me a boost, please, lend me a dime, I won’t forget you when it comes your time, Now is the time for you to come to my assistance and help me! Why why why why WHY won’t you help me? You’re not helping here, I rub so hard on your lamp, but you never appear, Give me a break, a five dollar bill, I’ll pay you back with interest if you will, I’m still a-waitin’ on a matron or a patron to help me! Put your shield away and give me a blanket, won’t you care for you fellow man? Put your toys away and give me a band aid, I’m not asking for the Marshall Plan, a job, a handshake, a milkshake or a piece of the land... Why why why why WHY won’t you help me? You’re no help at all. Why do you sneak out the back every time I call? Give me a boost, please, lend me a dime, I won’t forget you when it comes your time, Now is the time for you to come to my assistance and help me! I said, “SHAZAAM!” Captain Marvel, can’t you read my t- shirt? It says: “Here I Am!!!” Don’t know what I need more, your help or the wisdom finally to see why why why why WHY won’t you help me? Come and help me, give in and help me, I implore...Oh never mind, I don’t need your help anymore...

"Angels of Change" [vonHummer] Angels of Change sip invisible coffee on stakeout as you exchange what you got for something else altogether: your leather for lace, or a fact for a face you can’t save anymore... Angels of Change ponder phantom biscotti, watching for you to estrange every night in the ruts, every dead ending, pretending and junk, treasures long sunk you’re still diving for... There’s no deal, no prayer, they’re right here, not “up there,” whatever you got in mind, don’t try it, Angels of Change won’t buy it... Angels of Change give you no massages, rough you up good by the way, what you love gets a shove, going going going gone, they yawn and sit back, like it’s all on track, or a job they deplore... Angels of Change... Angels of Change...

"It Don't Signify" [vonHummer] Nine kinds of evidence, nowhere near why, but it don’t signify, no it don’t signify, Freedom bolstered by upholstered cubicles and push pins, and incessant fluorescent lighting, drop ceilings, feel to me like blue sky And I put myself here, that’s no lie, yes I put myself here that’s no lie Nine kinds of evidence, pile up around me, ah, but it don’t signify… Belly contents: intermittent meteor showers, thru my mind goes yesterday’s rose parade of failure, sad floats slowly creep by, But I‘ll put myself clear, or I’ll try, yes I’ll put myself clear, or I’ll try Nine kinds of evidence, nowhere near why, ah but it don’t signify, no it don’t signify, I pride myself in a limited way at thinking ‘outside the box’ just like Count Dracula could do so well, (and poor Pandora could not), can’t teach an old dog that won’t hunt to be crazy like a fox, I’m alive and I wanna die, ah, but it don’t signify… Nine kinds of evidence, nowhere near why, but it don’t signify, no it don’t signify...

"I Am Polluted" [vonHummer] I am polluted, Who knows why? And it looks like I’m gonna live til I die, Looks like I’m gonna live like a pig in a sty, Well my reasoning is convoluted and I am polluted, Big plane fly, big horn sound, big opportunity, big deal goin’ down, Big small chance, I can step out, Big small fears and choices and voices I can’t figure out... I am polluted, Who cares how? And it looks like my later’s happening now, Looks like my later has taken a bow, Wow: cause and effect are uprooted and I am polluted, Big plane fly, big horn sound, big opportunity, big deal goin’ down, Big small chance, I can step out, Big small fears and choices and voices I can’t figure out... Slow as molasses, I am polluted, Tic-tock, time passes, I am polluted, Just one of the masses, I am polluted, I am polluted, Who knows why? Who cares how? I am polluted, Who knows why? And it looks like I’m gonna live til I die, Llooks like I’m gonna live like a pig in a sty, Well my reasoning is convoluted and I am polluted, Well my reasoning is convoluted and I am polluted, Well my reasoning is convoluted and I am polluted,

"Pioneer Squire" (vonHummer) Hey on your way in help me out? My afternoon’s in doubt. Five bucks? Fifty bucks? Man, my situation’s dire, I’m thick as the brick everywhere in the Square, oh, and I’m thin as a wire, Hey help me out. My afternoon’s in doubt, five bucks, fifty bucks? Who’s gonna give a fuck about the Pioneer Squire? See you don’t know me, but I know you, dude: common sense all krazy glued. Five bucks? Fifty bucks? Then we can both retire. I’m the Thrill of Yamhill, Sun of Morrison, and in the cold I’m on fire, but I know you, dude, common sense krazy-glued, five bucks, fifty bucks? Who’s gonna give a fuck about the Pioneer Squire? Sixth Avenue’s just a candy bar to you, Broadway’s where they play lullabies, I’ve kept my distance for a full minute or two, so don’t shoot til you see the reds of my eyes… Hey on your way in help me out? My afternoon’s in doubt. Five bucks? Fifty bucks? Man, my situation’s dire, I’m thick as the brick everywhere in the Square, oh, and I’m thin as a wire, Hey help me out. My afternoon’s in doubt, five bucks, fifty bucks? five bucks, fifty bucks? five bucks, fifty bucks? Who’s gonna give a fuck about the Pioneer Squire? Who’s gonna give a fuck about the Pioneer Squire? Who’s gonna give a fuck about the Pioneer Squire?

"No Parlez" (vonHummer) If you’re looking for someone to explain things better, letter for letter, I don’t speak the language, If you’re wishing for someone to make meanings more clear, don’t ask here, dear: I don’t speak the language, I don’t speak the language, not to your liking, not the right accent, ill phrases striking, I don’t speak the language like the people you walk among, I don’t speak the language, ah but it’s my mother tongue! If you’re asking for someone who can interpret, I’ll have to forfeit: I don’t speak the language, If you’re hoping for someone to edit your phrasebook: hey, listen, wait, look, I don’t speak the language, I don’t speak the language, not like a native, don’t know accusative, I don’t know dative, I don’t speak the language like the people you think of as “hot,” I don’t speak the language, but it’s all the language I’ve got! I can not “speak the speech,” it’s entirely out of my reach, I can gesture all right, but I say “black,” and you hear “white,” If you’re waiting for some kind of tender discussion without repercussion: I don’t speak the language, If you’re looking for someone to explain things better, letter for letter, I don’t speak the language...

“The Night" [vonHummer] The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Virgil kane, candletop, land of the dollar bill, Al capone, cheatin’ wife, tore up the tracks again, He said hey, just eighteen, and to tell you the truth I been with her myself... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Tracks too small, clock upon the wall, there goes the Robert E. Lee, Little Sis choppin’ wood; shouting in the streets, Flag ‘em down, Mama’s face don’t care if the Georgia Patrol’s no good... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Big bellied sheriff burst open wide, And my Daddy stepped inside the sound of running feet, When a Yankee bullet laid him in the street til the last of the hoodlum gang Surrendered my brother in a make-believe trial... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa....

"Oh-Ho!" [vonHummer] Sometimes I see you by the printer tray waiting, and our eyes meet and you look away quick…Or I turn a corner, and you suddenly see me, but you take off like you’re gonna be sick…How come you treat me like a serial rapist in an alleyway at a quarter to three? Oh-ho, could you be in love with me…? Oh-ho! You must be in love with me, Oh-ho! You gotta be in love with me! There’s just no other explanation, you see: You must be in love with me… Whenever you see my smiling face, you yourself have to scowl…Is it to keep from gushing devotion when you speak to me, that you mumble and growl? You seem to show undue fascination with the elevator’s upholstery…Oh ho, could you be in love with me…? Oh-ho! You must be in love with me, Oh-ho! You gotta be in love with me! There’s just no other explanation, you see: You must be in love with me… I know your type, you act as cold as a kipper in a chrome steel tin to keep the fiery tigress of desire in your heart from constantly doing you in, So I’ll be cool, two can play at that game, cool and aloof, until you can’t keep your hands to yourself anymore and you make your move… But still I see you all alone in the lunchroom, when I sit down, you sneer and leave, and waiting our turn for the microwave, your eyes roll heavenward in disbelief, Maybe your asking god why he dropped my angel to torment the devil in thee? Oh-ho, you know you’re in love with me… Oh-ho! You must be in love with me, Oh-ho! You gotta be in love with me! There’s just no other explanation, you see: You must be in love with me…

"Insufficient Funds" (vonHummer) I'll stay, if you want me to stay and share my insufficient funds, I'll go if you want me to go and take my insufficient funds, No there's no place for the root of evil to grow if I stay stuck and stick with what i know I know: money talks, bullshit walks, but beggars and goldiggers run from insufficient funds, My trick: pick a card any card has insufficient funds, vanish when the waitress returns with insufficient funds, I’m so full of love, credit checks won’t go thru, if you think you might want me to get fiscal with you, a penny saved is a penny earned, when pennies cause me concern, it’s insufficient funds… If ever anyone had it all, they'd be carefree like me, Mother Theresa and all the young nuns, like Atila and all the young huns, freedom's just another word for insufficient funds… It's true, I got nothing but love and insufficient funds, Sheepish grins, jack benny jokes, and insufficent funds , So take my all if nothing's nothing to you, a wealth of good lovin' work wonders for you, The poor God blessed, well more or less, at least we articulate ones with insufficient funds… No even a broken clock is right twice a day, so, broke as I am, maybe someday I'll pay? That'll be the day and twenty-one guns will thunder to salute the end of insufficient funds...

"Embarrassing Tonight" [vonHummer] It’s after a party, and once again, it’s déjà vu: she’s hissing thru clenched teeth, “You…you…you…” Only she can help me straighten up with her and fly right, which starts with “Ucch! You were embarrassing tonight!” “You shot your mouth off,” she says, or “You ignored everyone,” She cites the many infractions of mine which “spoiled hers and everyone’s fun,” She loves me for who I am, and her bark foreshadows her bite as she says, “Ucch! You were embarrassing tonight,” When I protest no one else seemed taken aback, distraught or dismayed by whichever faux pas’s of mine caused her mortal mortification, “You idiot,” she shrieks in reply, “They faked amusement ‘cos they were afraid to show their sorrow for me, their disgust with you, and their indignation at the whole situation…” It’s been a long car ride, and too bad we didn’t fatally wreck, to end her endless headaches, and cease my ceaseless pain in the neck, One more curse up at the bedroom, as I turn off the sofabed light, shoot me at sunrise: I was embarrassing tonight...

"Like Junior High" (vonHummer) Finally wrote you the ultimate love note, gonna slip it in the pocket of your pea coat, loved you all year, it’s time to let you know, cafeteria theory says it’s so… In the girls room, you are a smoker, which makes me an impractical joker, you’re so hot, you walk by and I’m all “whoa!” Way cooler than me, maybe, but who knows… You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you, See you roaming the hallways cos you always have a pass, can’t sit nearby you no more cos you crack me up in class, there’s sparkle in your eyes like streetlight on broken glass, you could stop an assembly with your laugh… Someone said that you got detention for telling truth too ugly to mention, I’m so into you I’d risk suspension just to play hooky all day with you… You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you, Finally wrote you the ultimate love note, gonna slip it in the pocket of your pea coat, loved you all year, it’s time to let you know, cafeteria theory says it’s so, Still thinking about you in Social Studies, after Math, you’re still the topic sentence in my perfect paragraph, though you left my love note for the janitorial staff on the floor by your locker torn in half… You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you like junior high, You’re all high school, but I love you,

"Angels of Change" [vonHummer] Angels of Change, sip invisible coffee on stakeout as you exchange what you got for something else altogether: your leather for lace, or a fact for a face you can’t save anymore... Angels of Change, ponder phantom biscotti, watching for you to estrange every night in the ruts, every dead ending, pretending and junk, all the treasures long sunk you’re still diving for... There’s no deal, no prayer, They’re right here, not “up there,” Whatever you got in mind, don’t try it, Angels of Change won’t buy it... Angels of Change offer you no massages, Rough you up good by the way, What you love gets a shove, Going going going gone, They yawn and sit back, like it’s all on track, or a job they deplore... There’s no deal, no prayer, They’re right here, not “up there,” Whatever you got in mind, don’t try it, Angels of Change won’t buy it... Angels of Change... Angels of Change...

“I Am Polluted” [vonHummer] I am polluted/ who knows why/ and it looks like I’m gonna live til I die/ Looks like I’m gonna live/ like a pig in a sty/ Well my reasoning is convoluted/ and I am polluted/ Big plane fly/ Big horn sound/ Big opportunity/ Big deal going down/ Big small chance/ I can step out/ Big small fears and choices and voices/ I can’t figure out/ I am polluted/ Who cares how/ and it looks like my later’s happening now/ Looks like my later/ has taken a bow/ Wow cause and effect are uprooted/ and I am polluted/ Slow as molasses/ I am polluted/ Tic toc time passes/ I am polluted/ Just one of the masses/ I am polluted/ I am polluted/ who knows why/ Who cares how/

“The Night" [vonHummer] The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Virgil kane, candletop, land of the dollar bill, Al capone, cheatin’ wife, tore up the tracks again, He said hey, just eighteen, and to tell you the truth I been with her myself... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Tracks too small, clock upon the wall, there goes the Robert E. Lee, Little Sis choppin’ wood; shouting in the streets, Flag ‘em down, Mama’s face don’t care if the Georgia Patrol’s no good... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa.... Big bellied sheriff burst open wide, And my Daddy stepped inside the sound of running feet, When a Yankee bullet laid him in the street til the last of the hoodlum gang surrendered my brother in a make-believe trial... The night Chicago died, They drove Ol’ Dixie down And the lights went out in Georgia, And I heard my Mama cry, and all the people were singin’: Brother, what a night to fight a backwoods southern lawyer! na-na-na, na-na, na-na-naaaa....